My life is currently at a crossroad and I can’t for the life of me decide what to next. My options are to either continue with the life I have now (including my blogging) or left everything behind, giving myself the chance of the closest thing to a new beginning possible. The last option might seem a bit dramatic but hear me out.
This hasn’t been an easy thing to come to and and an even harder choice to make.
My current life isn’t that bad. But at the same time I feel trapped since everything around me is the same thing it always has been. And all these things that triggers bad memories and anxiety are everywhere around me. As long as I stay here they’re here too. I can’t put them truly behind me with the life I’m living. Even my friend is a constant source of stress. Not them, whenever I talk to them it’s brightens my day and they’re the light in my darkness. But at the same time everything that comes with them, aka all the other people in their life, is such a draining thing (you can read more about it here). I have no clue how to lower how badly it affects me than what I already tries to. I can’t hardly ask my friend to have no other friends or social interactions other than me. Sure I would love that, but that’s just mean. They have a life besides me, and I wished I didn’t overreact the way I do. I would be such much happier I can promise you that.
So with that knowledge my other choice might now seem a little more understandable. I could just put everything behind me, getting a chance to finally starting fresh. Getting a chance to show everyone this new me without anyone knowing the old me. Sounds great right? Only problem with this option is that I would have to cut all ties with me current life, including my friend. It’s really cruel to them, but I’m just tired to constantly feel like I’m never good enough. I want to be with them, above anything else. But it can’t continue living constantly having all these bad things surrounding me.
So now I really need some advice. What would you do if you was in my shoes? Any idea on a possible middle path? Please comment below as I’d love to get your guys thoughts on this ♥