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Rolene Esteley

Being Invisible

August 26, 2017 Leave a Comment

You know what would be a fun superpower to have? Being Invisible. But if you aren’t a super human and your invisibility stems from being easily forgotten by your peers, it’s not fun at all.

Being truly invisible you could anything you wanted, no one would know where you were or even who you were. I loved actually love to be invisible, the right way. Then I would have a good reason why people never seems to listen to me, or noticing my presence. But as it is now I’m just a part of the background, some kind of white noise no one seem to listen to. I hate it, some days I feel like scream just so someone would notice me.
There has been times when I’ve literally been standing next to someone a good 10 minutes and they still jumps into the air all the sudden when they finally notices me, and I’ve been talking to them the whole time…

It could have something to do with me being somewhat shy, but how come other shy people get remember and I don’t? I hate being in this situation, as an extrovert it’s a nightmare. I want to hang out with people and be social, but it’s hard when no one seems to notice or care about me. This leads to a long journey down the whole “Why can’t I just be different?”. Never a good thing to start thinking about 1 am as you need to sleep but ends up crying instead since you just tore yourself to pieces.

What is it with me that makes me so easy to forget? That makes me so easy to just ignore?
Sometimes it really feels like a part of the shadows, or just a low hum background sound no one cares about.
What makes the whole thing worse is that my sister is there as a constant thorn in the side. She doesn’t even want friends yet she’s the one who got them, who get’s invited to events and never is forgotten.

Have you ever experienced anything like this? How did you make yourself get more attention?

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