Isn’t it strange how something that you once were part of continue to go forward even after you no longer part of it? This thought just hit me last week when I realized that schools were starting again after the summer break. That all the people taking the bus to go to school, just as I had for the past three years. It’s a really bizarre feeling, but also a bit bittersweet.
This thought has somehow been a trigger of anxiety for me lately. When I remember that I no longer will meet my friend at a daily basis. That there won’t be the usual jokes about me being cold in the winter, or complaining about the teachers or just casual talking about what happen since we won’t see each other in that way anymore. Now all of this interactions that I crave is in the past, and I have to be happy if I can get a message a week. That someone has time to answer me. It is also really hard to start a conversation when you don’t know what happen in someones life.
I wish I didn’t have to feel this way, and a bit of the things that is worrying me isn’t really that huge of a problem. It just feels like that since my brain have a tendency to overreact to things and have my feelings run a bit out of control (thanks Bordeline). Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between what really is something to worry about and what is just my brain overreacting to tiny details with no impact at all. I just wish that I knew more about what happen in peoples life so I could have an easier time to decide if the things is something or not to worry about. But I try, even though a lot of the time it’s hard.